polar feelings
it properly snowed on 1/7— proper snow gives off a suspended belief of living inside a recently shaken snow globe. the dizzying effect of snow coming from all directions is the only time my mind becomes quiet and i understand why people meditate. however, the drop in temperature after the snow is so bone-chilling that the shoulders instinctively hunch up, the chest feels tightened, and human v nature makes you surrender to the mother. how long can one endure polar feelings?
Polar, 2016 performance
Ice blocks, knife
Xiao Lu
a performance piece i’ve been thinking about a lot recently is by xiao lu. she enters a large ice block vessel with a knife and the objective is to break through the barrier (more details on her inspiration and etc is here). she deeply wounds her hand by accident and uses the environment to numb her pain. she’s able to penetrate the ice barrier with two holes before the performance is stopped— lu is dizzy and needs medical attention. she ends up needing a 3-hour operation for severed muscles and a tendon.
you, a skeptic: lol she did that to herself she didn’t have to go inside that ice block in the first place
me, an empath: by acknowledging the physical icy parameters, lu demonstrates her determination by using the environment to her advantage in order to continue breaking that boundary. she is successful in two ways:
she got two holes through
she knew when to stop
recognizing when to stop is a character trait i’m trying to develop. i have a problem with needing a black and white answer to what i perceive to be a black and white problem. i will absorb as much emotional and educational knowledge in order to come to a resolution.
example— if my feelings are hurt, i want my feelings to be acknowledged. the resolution: open dialogue on how to communicate effectively instead of “letting things air out”
only recently have i realized that black and white are controlled by exposure of light, and whoever is in control will have their own interpretation of shades.
XX_cath